69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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