The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
