When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
nutella sex= disaster
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
you never un-have a 4some
Randomize
