I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
