Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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