I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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