just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
