TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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