I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
