Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
