saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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