He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
