break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
