I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
