just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
