Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
