I cockslap morals
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
