I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
