Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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