wrigley field is MILF paradise
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
