I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
A+ Viking dick
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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