so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
