Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
why does every cop we meet know your name?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
