dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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