Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
