fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
