im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
