Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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