Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize