He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
