I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
