Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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