I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
