At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
