im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
