if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
did i walk over a car last night?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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