I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
