You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize