32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
