Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
