All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
We are two peas in an std pod
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
