I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
porn star boner night. come get it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
