just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
