we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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