People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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