Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
