How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
