Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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