Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
