His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
i think i just lost a toe
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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