dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
