you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm like, not good at living.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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