Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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