let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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