If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize