I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
