btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
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