Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
