..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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