Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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