I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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