why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
