When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
