How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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