on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
