hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you inspire me to be a worse person
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize