I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
