Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize