she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
