She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
