so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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