Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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