Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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